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Sunday, November 19, 2006

Oh well, Just goes to show you that you can't win them all.


I finally got up around 10:30 today. I would have and could have slept later but I thought it would be in poor taste as a guest. When I went downstairs it was obvious that I wasn't the only one to sleep late. Justin's bro and his friend had just gotten up to and looked even worse than me ha.

Justin helped me get some coffee. His grandparents kept telling me to make myself at home and then his grandma asked what we were hungry for. She didn't wait for an answer and before we knew it we were being called to he table which held a platter full of bacon, sausage and canadian bacon sitting next to a platter of scrambled eggs. And once we were all sitting out she came with blueberry pancakes with a blueberry compote (I think that is what Greg said it was) and plunked 4 of them on everyones plate. As soon as she did that all of them started picking on Justin and his gram. The reason she made the pancakes is because they are Justin's favorite and to quote them, "Aw, of course we have that if that is what Justin wants" Then I found out that since he was up earlier he got hungry so she made him some pancakes to hold him until we all ate. When I heard that I even started razing him lol. I have to say that the pancakes were awesome. I can sure see why Justin liked them.

After breakfast I got showered and then we all sat around talking and watching pregame bs. Justin's gramps asked if he could steal Justin away for a half hour and they took off so I sat and talked with James and his friend. James is the 23 year old bro and he has a great sense of humor. I enjoyed talking to them. At one point James made a joke to me about what ever it is that I am doing to Justin to keep it up because he needs to live a little. I didn't get a chance to ask what he meant then but later on I did. He told me that he and Justin talk every 3 or 4 days and my name comes up a lot. He just told me that he thought it was good we hit it off and friends and he could tell it made being a college easier for Justin. I told him knowing Justin made it easier for me to an dhe said he believed it but moreso for Justin. He didn't get a chance to tell me more because his friend came walking downstairs.

The game started and Justin and his gramps got back so we all pulled up a seat and sat and watched. It was a lot of fun to watch the game with them. There were loads of good things to munch on. Very cool afternoon.

Then we all got changed and they took us out to dinner. I had a filet smothered in morel mushrooms and it was fantastic.

Justin is down watching TV with everyone and I am thinking I sould go down and join them. I also have it on good source that grams has a peach cobbler for us for dessert (and yep, I found out it is another of Justin's favorites lol).

As for last night and sharing a bed. It was a trip for sure. We did lots of talking and talking and talking once we got in bed. Not sure about Justin, maybe he just wasn't tired for awhile but I was talking because I knew I was going to have a hard getting to sleep. I didn't think it would be a big deal but when we were getting ready for bed and I watched Justin get undressed to his boxers and get in the bed I had so many thoughts. The first one was 'like wow, im going to get to sleep with him'. Second one was 'man, in the same bed, wonder if some part of our bodies will touch as we are in it' I knew I wasn't getting to sleep anytime soon.

Cobbler is being served is the word, so for now once again


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Friday, November 03, 2006

Eating the Cookie


Another of my patients, a successful businessmen, tells me that before his cancer he would become depressed unless things went a certain way.

Happiness was "having the cookie."

If you had the cookie, things were good. If you didn't have the cookie, life wasn't worth a damn.

Unfortunately, the cookie kept changing. Some of the time it was money, sometimes power, sometimes sex. At other times, it was the new car, the biggest contract, the most prestigious address. A year and a half after his diagnosis of prostate cancer he sits shaking his head ruefully.

"It's like I stopped learning how to live after I was a kid. When I give my son a cookie, he is happy. If I take the cookie away or it breaks, he is unhappy. But he is two and a half and I am forty-three. It's taken me this long to understand that the cookie will never make me happy for long.

The minute you have the cookie it starts to crumble or you start to worry about it crumbling or about someone trying to take it away from you.

You know, you have to give up a lot of things to take care of the cookie, to keep it from crumbling and be sure that no one takes it away from you. You may not even get a chance to eat it because you are so busy just trying not to lose it.

Having the cookie is not what life is about."

My patient laughs and says cancer has changed him. For the first time he is happy. No matter if his business is doing well or not, no matter if he wins or loses at golf.

"Two years ago, cancer asked ne, 'Okay, what's important? What is really important?' Well, life is important. Life. Life any way you can have it. Life with the cookie. Life without the cookie. Happiness does not have anything to do with the cookie, it has to do with being alive. Before, who made the time?" He pauses thoughtfully.

"Damn, I guess life is the cookie."


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